I’ve decided I want to be cremated. Not when I die, just whenever. Surprise me.

(via loserslol)

383,076 notes


yeah ur secrets safe with me
I wasn’t listening in the first place

(Source: condom, via fake-mermaid)

235,822 notes


officer, I know I was speeding but technically u were too so I’m gonna have to arrest u please step out of the vehicle

(Source: nishlo, via gnarly)

281,967 notes


don’t lie we all judge people by their url

(Source: ollivander, via one-story-one-life)

165,631 notes


I’ve liked like 9 of your selfies how do you not get this

(Source: presidentjoey, via fake-mermaid)

206,453 notes